WAITING FOR MR. JOHNSON, PART TWO

Setting: East Wing of the Parliament Lobby

 

Enter, 1^st Loyal MP (otherwise known as loyalist): Good Morning, Honourable.

Enter, 1^st Rebel MP: Good morning to you too, Honourable.

Loyalist: May the Force be with you.

Rebel MP: Even more so to you, sir.

Loyalist: It does look to me you have been standing here all day long. By the way why are you still here? Who ‘re you waiting for if you could tolerate my curiosity and inquisitiveness? And why are you standing here of all places, strategically positioning yourself as if you are out for one of those your usual mischiefs as a backbencher?

RMP: It is elder Johnson’s boy who has been troubling the nation and all Commonwealth. He has desired me very earnestly to here wait for him as he ‘ll here course to the Prime Minister’s Question and would spend a minute or two for a tete a tete. And as for the question why I am still here, a Deliveroo, not a courier, will with victuals and boozes help you to deliver it appropriately to whom that question ought to be directed at, at the right place.

Loyalist: Elder Johnson’s boy troubling the nation and all Commonwealth, and he did desire you earnestly very to here punctuate your restless legs which have never been on vacation ever since the departure of the Lady?

RMP: Ay. I assure you no evil intention is afoot against his person.

Loyalist: Then I should without further ado trust you are one of the few in the modern world who has been consistent in worshipping at the shrine of integrity. But if I must be honest with you, Mr Johnson indeed, meant you to wait for him at the West Wing of the Lobby. You probably did not hear him clearly as to where he did desire you to for him wait.

RMP: By Charlotte, I did. I have not lost my mind to here for him wait if he had not for the honour of him asked me to here wait for him.

Loyalist: Are you really, really sure? And sure really, really?

RMP: By George, he did actually request me as an honourable man he’s always been, always true to his word as a man whose words are his bond to here wait for him.

Loyalist: I can bet you did not hear Mr. Johnson well.

RMP: I did

Loyalist: You did not.

RMP: I did!

Loyalist: I say you did not hear Mr. Johnson well, by Charles, the next king of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland.

RMP: By this Queendom, entrusted to the noble Elizabeth Richard, Her Majesty the Queen, I heard him well.

Loyalist: I did not mean you did not hear him well as in hearing him well.

RMP, (Getting confused): What then did you mean and mean to say, sir?

Loyalist: Sir, I mean you couldn’t decode him nor were you able to read Mr. Johnson’s lips correctly. Mr. Johnson meant you should wait for him at the West Wing of the Lobby!

RMP, (Standing with mouth agape): But…but…

Loyalist, (One of the ultra-conservative smug was in a hurry for a counter-offensive emergency meeting, bids the rebel MP goodbye as he enters the lift to take him to the Upper Chamber and begins to soliloquise as he leans against the lift): the Parliament is a leveller; hence plebs of all sorts have hijacked it. This levelling up nonsense in the name of social mobility is a Johnsonian gambit, copying the so-called Big Society of one of the Bullingdon boys.

The curtains fall:

As the curtains draw to a close, Ziggy Marley’s What a Plot music could be heard at the background:

“We see dem scheming,

We know them traps,

So let them plot….

What a plot dem a plot…”

 

THE END

 

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